Emotions are a part of the human experience, however, individuals deal with emotions differently. Some choose to suppress their emotions altogether and some are overwhelmed by their emotions. In reality, dealing with emotions is about having control of our emotions instead of eliminating or avoiding emotions.

Prominent authors and researchers such as Daniel Goleman, PhD, have conducted research on emotional intelligence and share the importance of having emotional awareness when accomplishing your life goals whether personal or professional.

When we are emotionally balanced in our day to day living it allows for us to improve our relationships, make bettern decisions and have better mental health overall. This guide presents practical ways to take control of your emotions while not suppressing or eliminating them by presenting you with basic habits that can be used on a daily basis.

How Emotions Work and Why It's Important to Understand Them

Emotions are the feelings we get from the brain as a response to our situation and emotions to help navigate your inner thoughts to determine how to respond to an outside stimuli. If you suppress or ignore those feelings rather than interpreting those feelings you may become confused by the results of your actions; but if you interpret and understand those feelings that you have received from your brain, then you have a better understanding about what you feel.

The Purpose of Emotions

Every emotion has its purpose. Fear will help protect you from danger; sadness will help you heal from loss; and the many uncomfortable emotions that we experience provide opportunities for personal growth and understanding.

Emotional Awareness Benefits

When you see your emotions as signals and not barriers to your well-being, you will change the way you look at your emotions.

  • The ability to control their own actions/reactions much better
  • Stronger relationships with the people around them
  • More clarity in the way they think
  • Reduced amounts of stress caused by emotions

Awareness creates an avenue from which to learn how to control and balance emotions.

The Difference Between Control and Suppression

Nearly everyone confuses controlling your emotions when you are angry with suppression of that anger or any other negative/confrontational emotion. In actuality, controlling an emotion allows you to manage how you are going to respond to it, while suppressing an emotion is a way of trying to ignore it or push it aside.

When you suppress an emotion, the emotion does not disappear, that same emotion builds up over time and will come back in a much larger and more unhealthy manner than it did originally. As discovered in studies conducted by Harvard Medical School, suppressing your emotions also has been shown to create stress and negatively impact your mental health.

Control vs Suppression Outcomes

Controlling an emotion is the ability to allow that emotion to exist without letting it control you. This creates balance rather than pressure.

Examples of Suppression

  • Explicitly avoiding confrontation and difficult conversations
  • Blatantly denying that you are feeling any emotion whatsoever

Why You Suppress Your Emotions

The process of suppressing one's emotion is something that is often learned behaviour; for many people, as they grow up they come from environments where it was discouraged to express their feelings or where they do not have the capacity or ability to express their feelings.

In addition, social norms play a role in this suppression, particularly in place of work and public settings you might feel the need to maintain an appearance of calmness at all times.

Judgment and Rejection

Individuals may fear being judged, misunderstood, or rejected by another individual, which will lead to silence versus expression with the result being disconnection.

Lack of Emotional Skills

  • Difficulty identifying feelings
  • Having no means of expressing those feelings
  • Fearing an inability to control themselves
  • Avoiding situations that may provoke feelings

Effective Methods of Daily Emotional Processing

This means you can understand how you feel and why. Thus, you are able to process your emotions creating a balanced way where you are able to acknowledge your emotions but do not let them dictate your actions.

Daniel Siegel states that by naming and recognizing our emotions reduces the intensity of the emotion and gives us a greater amount of control over the emotion.

Journaling and Reflection

Journaling and having time for quiet reflection will help give you an escape route from the pressure of emotions. By journaling, you give the brain an opportunity to organize the thoughts that you have and relieve some internal tension.

Journaling is a very effective way of processing your emotions. It allows you to identify what you feel and what you are thinking without having to pass judgment on your thoughts and feelings.

Mindfulness Practices in Everyday Life

Mindfulness can be found in many simple tasks we complete in our daily routines such as eating, walking, and breathing. When you can focus your attention on the here-and-now of what is happening to you in a given situation, you are able to have an easier time refraining from overthinking.

Simple Mindfulness Habits

  • Taking short breaks at least twice each day

Identifying Triggers of Emotion

Emotional triggers are events or situations which create or overwhelm an individual with emotion. By identifying your emotional triggers, you will be able to build intelligence and appropriate controlled responses.

The most common triggers of emotional responses are criticism, stress, and significant life transitions.

Communication and Boundaries

According to Professionals at organizations such as the American Psychological Association, open lines of communication can improve both your emotional and relationship quality.

Examples of Healthy Boundaries

  • Saying no to someone if you need to
  • Taking time for yourself
  • Limiting your exposure to toxic people

Techniques for Managing Emotional State

Many professionals believe to have learned how to manage their emotions and develop their ability to do so. Techniques such as slow down with breathing, practicing structured reflection, or visualizing positive outcomes have created an impactful shift.

Breathing Control

When you are feeling an emotion, breath control methods provide an effective and efficient way to calm or positively relax both your mind and body.

Breathing Methods

Methods such as deep breathing, and box breathing can be very effective when practiced regularly.

Cognitive Reframing

Cognitive reframing allows you to change your perception of a situation to the way that is consistent within you and therefore allow you to make better decisions.

Therapy programs using methods developed with backing from Cleveland Clinic, the use of reframing has helped people cope with their feelings more successfully.

Building Long-Term Emotional Strength

Developing emotional control does not occur instantaneously. Emotional control takes time, through the formation of consistent lifestyle choices.

Emotional Resilience Habits

  • Maintaining reliable relationships with individuals

Daily Routine and Stability

Creating a balanced adult routine such as a regular sleep pattern, taking breaks to practice mindfulness; and allowing time for your self to reflect, will help with the development of emotional balance.

Empirical formula for routine development for mental health, endorsed by organizations like the World Health Organization.

Conclusion

Emotionally controlling without repressing is about balance rather than avoidance. Emotions provide you with important messages regarding your thoughts and actions.

Develop emotional awareness, develop healthy forms of expression and use uncomplicated tools such as breathing and reframing to manage and control your emotions.

Long-term well-being of emotional stability and growth comes from consistency. Consistent daily habitual task completion, setting and maintaining boundaries, and habitual routines of mindful practices will create long-term emotional stability.